A Bit More Loud, A Lot Less Lazy

I’m still not where I want to be, but I seem to be moving closer.

If you ask my parents to describe me, two words always come up: “He is lazy” and “Abdulmuhmeen? that boy is so quiet”.

“He doesn’t put all his effort into what he does” “He barely talks at home”.

That’s followed me for a while. I hope I’m a lot less lazy than before, in my opinion I’m not lazy at all. And quiet? I 100% disagree, but when is the last time someone has accurately described themselves?

Despite that I’ll attempt to do so here: try and describe where I started, where I’m now at, and where next I’m looking to go.

To be honest, outside my circle of friends its probably true that I am just a little bit of a quiet person. I can be put in a room full of people, be placed in a discussion and not say a word. The entire time. It’s something I’m working on, and occasionally I seem to have broken.

I learnt from a guy called Dino on instagram that in a new place, with new people, you can basically create a new image of yourself, and not hold onto anything everyone who knew you before knows of you (if that makes any sense). So I’ve been putting this into practice where I can. Sometimes drastically.

Some people now think I’m quiet and reserved (although this seems to shatter as soon as I share my instagram), others that I’m loud and energetic. Some come across my social media first before meeting what I assume to be my more reserved demeanor. All I can say on this front is that I’m working on it.

I want to be confident, and I think I’ve been making some progress.

Strats to force change

Social media has been a positive experience through and through for me. I’ve been able to practice talking aloud, essentially that mirror exercise except everyone can judge you as well. I’ve also picked up some extra skills like a bit of video editing, script writing and a new appreciation for every moment.

Social media gets your mind thinking: is this beautiful enough to share, or is this profound enough or funny enough, or insert x category enough. It keeps you constantly on the look out with both negative and positive aspects that entails.

There is also an element of control involved as well, is this appropriate to share, or i should keep it to myself, or maybe I should delay talking about it until its “safe” to do so. There is a sort of thoughtfulness it brings, as now you arent just thinking about what you think could be important, but also what others would think as well (quite a positive spin heh).

Another strat I’ve employed is to look at all the possible options and go for the craziest I can imagine. An example of this I think about all the time is starting the group chat for my CS cohort at uni. I can affirm to you that this was not an easy decision to make.

As someone then, who barely chats on social media, my usage was strictly restricted to scrolling away, starting a group chat was 100% outlandish for me. Even one of my closest friends, one of the most social guys I know, was super hesitant when i asked him to be the second member. I began a process of basically crawling through all sorts of group chats and forums, essentially hopping into DMs and asking them if they were starting CompSci at durham and then adding them to it. I also did the same for my accom. I added over 300 followers that week.

300 new people to potentially talk to, 300 people I could potentially meet. By freshers week the chat was quite lively and there was a lot of excitement. I had a sense that there was an opportunity to introduce myself to people I had been chatting with for weeks now, but unfortunately I got cold feet and let it pass. I guess I took on a bit too much, i was aiming for way to big of a transformation. But progress was made.

What’s next?

Well here in 2026, I’ll soon be starting my last year of uni, I’m looking to talk to and befriend a lot more people and to be a bit more social. I’m now what you might call a linkedin warrior, frequently posting about my experiences, projects and startups (check out amalpos). I’m currently learning how to work with other people, and potentially organise, and take lead of things whenever there is a opportunity. My DMs are always open, and I enjoy chatting with people. I’ve discovered the joy of a phone call (phone >>> messaging), and try to keep up with all my friends.

I’m applying to graduate roles whilst trying to keep myself on track to a first class.

I’m taking advantage of anything that comes my way, and working towards where I want to be.

I’m a lot more loud, and hopefully a lot less lazy.

I’m just trying, and I think, with all your energy, potential, and willpower you should too.

Big thanks for reading this far, I hope you learnt something, and get some benefit out of it.

Should I write more stuff? Probably a good habit, plus you learn to convert thoughts into words better. See you all.

AbdulMuhmeen A. Leasu (aka AMAL)